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I THOUGHT WE ALREADY WENT OVER THIS!
WHAT I THOUGHT WE KNEW THIS!
Today Apple announced that they would be filing for Chapter 12 bankruptcy in the United States. They are selling the iPhone patents and existing devices to Microsoft, who will put Windows 8 mobile on them and sell the new gadgets at 6 times Apple's cost. While the Microsoft fans rejoice, all of the loyal-to-Apple people are furious. According to an Apple spokesperson, the company filed for bankruptcy because the Apple watch research and development had gone too far. They had wasted all of their money on their crappy watch that they could no longer make iPhones or computers anymore. According to experts, the world will explode without iPhones. Thank's for reading, and have a great, Microsoft-product filled day!
As of exactly 8:34 pm November 3rd, thousands of Starbucks have done the inevitable. They have removed the Pumpkin Spice Lattes off the menu. Starbucks claims that Pumpkin Spice is bad for business, because many white girls refrain from drinking their lattes because they dont want to be seen as stereotypical. Hundreds of thousands of white girls are rioting throughout the United States alone, trying to bring back their beloved drink. Starbucks may reconsider re introducing the Pumpkin Spice Latte, but it is uncertain what fans will say.
Due to the re awakening of Cthulhu, many citizens have formed a cult to worship the massive beast. Little is known of where this cult began, but one thing for sure, is that it is spreading faster than the ebola hype.
Scenes sent from the satellites in space show that the Earth is becoming more and more pentagonal, unlike the round shape we know today. Why is this happening? Scientists such as Giorgio A. Tsoukalos speculate that is was indeed the extraterrestrials responsible. What does this mean for us? Nothing except we will all have to buy new globes pentagonally shaped.
Today, we have found out that the U.K.ís surveillance agency GCHQ has asked several US companies to help them in spying on the world. With these and the Edward Snowden leaks, we can say with 100% confidence that it isn't the NSA spying on everyone. Rather we now the Queen is the one behind this. The Queen must of somehow forced the NSA to assist in her efforts to collect all the information in the world. Now we don't like to speculate but it is said that she is trying to collect this information to relay it back to her alien over lords. So we here at Phabo would like remind you to assume the party position when our new alien overlords arrive.
Just like donkeys and the elephants claw their way to be at the top of the food chain, their human counterparts, the democrats and the republicans polish up their lies in order to win the throne, A.K.A known as the Senate seat. So far the democrats have been trying to plague the land with their own form of ebola, known as the Democratic wave. Horrendously failing, the republicans so far have been fighting tooth and nail to defame the "lion" of the pack A.K.A President Obama. The lion so as to speak is cowering behind the donkeys, has been in fact, proving the point of the democrat's disorganization. So far the elephants are crushing their opposition and the plague of "the people's vote", President Obama, and will pull in their own wave, the republican wave.
While I was doing a little research for some news, I noticed something. All the news that has to do with Mexico or really all of Mexico, Central and South America is depressing and sad. These are a few headlines I came across, "Mexico police find mass grave near site 43 students vanished", "Mexican citizen journalist has her own murder posted on her Twitter account", and "'Mayor ordered police attack on missing students' in Mexico, according to official". These are real headlines and with news like this and events like this occurring in these peoples back yards it is no surprise to be that they are leaving behind everything to cross the boarder and try to live somewhere they can get a stable job without having to worry about being killed at just about anytime. Now that I was serious I do have to say it is up lifting to think that out of all the places they could of gone they all seem to decide to come here to AMERICA. AMERICA is the single greatest place on earth. Everyone wants to be here. But we can't have them damn foreigners showing up here. They are taking all of our jobs, but just think about it deep down inside we all know without them Mexican food wouldn't been the same and I say that is enough to keep a few of them around. I hope that we all can agree on this.
Just moments ago, Cthulhu was reported as destroying many small towns on the east Virginia coast. This all happened when NASA contracted rocket exploded right after launch. Some how this event sent a shockwave far enough to waken Cthulhu. Cthulhu of course is our lord and savior and we should all be thanking NASA for waking him. With is awakening comes the death of all life on earth allowing us to move to a higher level. I hope to see you all there. LONG LIVE CTHULHU!
Walmart's online store, walmart.com is one of the largest retailers of Halloween costumes. They even have a section labeled "Fat-Girl costumes". This of course was a mistake and was taken down only hours later; that day Walmart apologized with a tweet stating, This never should have been on our site. It is unacceptable, and we apologize. We are working to remove it as soon as possible and ensure this never happens again..."
In in unexpected twist of events, Twitter has partnered with IBM. For what reason you my be asking. Well, one of our informants, who wishes to remain anonymous, told us that the plan is to use the massive databases of words and the power of the servers that both companies has and use it to hack into Russian nuclear missile computers. And send them our way. It is unbelievable we know but all information is pointing towards the start of a new world war. Please start preparing it wont be long till this horror show starts.
A LA-London flight was delayed for serveral hours today because of a wifi netowkr nearby. This was not any network, it was a network named "Al-Quida Free Terror Network". A passenger alerted the American Airlines airplane crew, they further relayed the message to police. After a miserable, long investigation lasting several hours, police found no evidence of any crime. The flight from LA to London on Sunday was eventually rescheduled for Monday.
Yesterday, the nation was shocked when the news that the vice president, Joe Biden, has been quarantined. It is speculated that he is infected with the ever spreading ebola virus, but there is no word yet on wether this is true or not. But us here at Phabo asked around and did get an official quote stating that he is in fact is infected with ebola, which he contracted from a recess monkey bite, which he obtained at an OutBack Stake house where he was kissing babies for the crowd. It turned out that one of the crazed women there replaced her child with a recess monkey already infected with ebola in hopes of infecting the vice president. As we can see now her plan looks as if it worked. We will get back to you as these events unfold.
It seems that more and more I see post from news companies saying, "some" you have never seen/heard of/etc., you get the idea. They want to show you all the mysteries that you missed. Well you are looking at one right now. This site has flown just under the radar. THAT IS HOW I LIKE IT. Thank you everyone for your amazing support so far. I can't wait to see want is to come.
if ur a lower class american chances r a pedro looking fella is going 2 take ur job so yh git a better 1 m8!